I can feel myself slowly floating away, I can hardly tell you the date or day. I feel so numb all over deep inside, is it just my heart trying to hide? I silently scream out in the night, shivering uncontrollably in fright. I feel like a juggler with his balls, watching as, instead of catching them, they fall. They scatter all over the place the humiliation I can't erase. You hurt me, yet I still linger; I'm still wrapped around your finger. I try to shrug off all you say, but it hurts more every day. I know I shouldn't cry over you, I have so many better things to do. I could go find old friends and party till night ends. I could crochet a quilt and not feel your guilt. I could take the dog for a walk go see a friend and talk. I could take the kids for a drive and on their innocence I'd thrive. I could sit and write a long letter, or pick up the phone, that'd be better. Instead I sometimes dread home my heart is longing to roam. But, it's still you and me neither of us feel free. One day I no longer will cry and I will be waving good-bye.
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