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I can feel myself slowly floating away,
I can hardly tell you the date or day.
I feel so numb all over deep inside,
is it just my heart trying to hide?
I silently scream out in the night,
shivering uncontrollably in fright.
I feel like a juggler with his balls,
watching as, instead of catching them, they fall.
They scatter all over the place
the humiliation I can't erase.
You hurt me, yet I still linger;
I'm still wrapped around your finger.
I try to shrug off all you say,
but it hurts more every day.
I know I shouldn't cry over you,
I have so many better things to do.
I could go find old friends
and party till night ends.
I could crochet a quilt
and not feel your guilt.
I could take the dog for a walk
go see a friend and talk.
I could take the kids for a drive
and on their innocence I'd thrive.
I could sit and write a long letter,
or pick up the phone, that'd be better.
Instead I sometimes dread home
my heart is longing to roam.
But, it's still you and me
neither of us feel free.
One day I no longer will cry
and I will be waving good-bye.
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